i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
