summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize