Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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