Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
