Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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