I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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