I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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