How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
