I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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