I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I love you. Go after that dick
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize