i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Randomize
