On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
