their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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