everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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