We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
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spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
being pregnant is like rehab
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Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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