you would pick up someone in the library
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
we're making bets on your personal life
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
