are you so shy because you have an std?
we made out on top of his cat.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
