Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
