Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
