yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize