get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
soo... how was my night?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
