JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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