You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
