I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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