so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
