Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
