Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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