She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
