well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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