did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
