is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize