For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
