Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
