how can u be prego again
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
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