I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
