Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
