im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
