Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
then he tried to convert me to islam
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.