Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
