guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
