Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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