Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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