dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
