AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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