I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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