Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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