so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
