Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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