Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
