I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize