Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
