I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
