Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I think I won the penis lottery.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
